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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

1 A.M.

There are few things more frustrating that letting a baby "cry it out." Of course, the term is extremely relative. I think everyone's idea of doing this is slightly different. Tonight, Caleb woke up for a feeding around midnight. Unfortunately, he didn't go back to sleep right away. After I put him back in bed, I heard him fussing again... So as I lay in bed, I began to analyze what might be wrong. Let's see. His diaper is usually not dirty at this time, but the nurse practitioner did say that the antibiotics could make him poop more... Did I just not smell it? Well, he is not crying very loudly. Maybe if I give him a little bit longer, he will drift back off to sleep like he usually does. More fussing... Quiet... More fussing. Ok, now he is getting worked up. So I go back in there, pick him up, change his diaper: not dirty, not even very wet, either. Oh well. Try to rock him. Notice that he seems unsettled, not interested in rocking. Try to feed him again. Maybe he is still hungry? Perhaps in my exhaustion, I pulled him off the boob too soon, in an effort to get myself back into bed: something that I now am too annoyed to do! Hmmmm. Well, he is not interested in feeding either. Instead, he seems extremely interested in the small amount of light that is trickling into his room from the hallway. Oooooo. I am not too thrilled at this point that apparently, Caleb just seems to want to be awake, randomly, at 1 A.M. That's the way it goes sometimes, with babies. This is true. But I'm too tired for this typical infant behavior! I'm also kicking myself for not getting to bed earlier. Why is it so hard for me to go to bed at a decent time? I always seem to want to get on facebook, post something on my blog, watch something on TV, I don't know, have time to do stuff that I want to do. It's that or go to bed early, I guess. And then sometimes I can't go to sleep anyway, so may as well stay up...
OK, well, after putting him back in bed again, you guessed it, I decided to let him cry for a while. And he seems quiet now. Thank you, Lord! Now, if only I can go back to sleep!
I wonder if I should check on him... Is he covered up? What if he is cold? What if he got uncovered during his vehement reaction to my lack of response? What if the blanket has crept too close to his face? What if he has rolled over? What if I go in there to check on him and he sees me, and wakes up and starts crying again?
Ahhhh... The joys. Yes, I'm still thankful. I have to remind myself that I am still thankful for this precious baby boy.

Well, I did go back to sleep. And wouldn't you know it, he looked just as adorable as ever when he woke up.
This picture below just cracks me up. It's as if he is saying :"what? whachoo talkin' bout? I didn't do anything!"

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