Two more days....

Twas the night before Spring, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (well, actually, mice were probably stirring in many areas of the country, b/c winter was so slow in leaving, that they were scurrying into houses for warmth.)

The stockings and fleece hoodies were placed in the closets with care,
In hopes that they might not be needed again for wear,
The children were nustled all snug in their beds,
While visions of health danced in their parents' heads....and also visions of pools, short sleaved shirts, and beaches...
And Daddy in his nighties, and I in mine,
We both had settled down for a long winter's nap... Ok, well at least a two hour stretch until the baby woke us up to eat--uhgain.

When lo from the bedroom, we heard random sounds
Who was coughing? Was it croupy? The cold virus abounds.
I check on the baby again and again,
To be sure that the blanket is not enveloping his chin.

The moonlight shines through the window, I see,
And the cold, misty night sometimes seems to mock me:
"Ha ha ha!" says the wind, "Spring is still far away."
"Go on wishing," it taunts, "snow is coming, they say."

My spirits sink lower day after day
More sickness, more doctors, and more dismay...
I look out of the window, in search of hope
The clouds look back at me and announce a stark "nope!"

I go to the internet, try facebook, too
My baby is fussy... boo hoo hoo hoo!!
The kitchen looks more like a cage at the zoo
Coats, mittens, gloves, snow suits, and muddy goo.

Finally the calendar announces Spring's near.
I think to myself, happiness must be here.
But with one more round of a virus, winter leaves with a bang.
Will the Caulleys ever be healthy again?

Happiness eludes me, motivation too,
My hibernating soul colors winter blue,
My heart becomes heavy. There's a lump in my throat.
I'd rather not be sinking. I'd much rather float.

I have no motivation. Just when laundry is done,
I turn around, and see more: a LOT more: a ton!
Outside is no escape. Inside is no fun.

My psyche has suffered.
I feel mentally lame.
I'm emotionally crippled.
Someone help me! Explain!

Then through ways oh so soft, oh so gentle, I see
God at work. He is here. He is right beside me.
Sometimes I get angry, wish I saw Him more.
"Help me out, God!" I say "Pick me up off the floor."
He comes through, I feel Him.
He alone gives me strength.
It's true, especially now when I'm weak.

Sometimes it feels like the pile of dirt
that I sit in is dragging me down by my skirt.
Will I ever get out? Will the sun shine on us?
Will our family get passed this dull, miserable fuss?

Then God gently reminds me that peace can only be found
by focusing on Him... Not the waves all around.
Just like Peter emerging with faith from the boat,
We, too, sailed off, confidently afloat.

Yet also, like Peter, once out on our own,
We felt a lot less brave, stripped down to the bone.

So Jesus lends us his hand. We take it. We're saved.
He raises us up from the ashes of ourselves.
If only we could keep our eyes on Him all of the time.
He gently calls us up to Himself. Everyday.

So the secret is: instead of focusing on the winter, and allowing the enemy to dominate my thoughts with depressing thoughts, I must simply look to Jesus, and allow my negativity to die so that the *spring* of godly, uplifting thoughts can penetrate and the Holy Spirit can restore life to me again.
And how appropriate, afterall, this feeling of death. Because we contemplate Jesus' death and Resurrection during this time of year. Jesus: enveloping death, and then being raised up again. He is the epitome of life!!

So, Happy Spring to us all! And to all, a good night.